The Dan Conley Experience

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Just bought a can of WD-40 and a tube of Krazy Glue and wreaked handy havoc all over this motherfucker.

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Grounded Parents | Parenting With Mental Illness

Normally, I’d just tell her to chill and that would be that. Instead, for some reason, I lost it. I told A to get his stuff together because we were leaving now. I unplugged the skillet. Utensils were thrown across the kitchen. There was much swearing and raging. Now L says she can wait, I tell her that we are fucking leaving NOW!

I’m not saying my mental health issues are as bad as the author’s, but I’ve come close to it. Days where everything goes wrong and it’s one problem after another and I don’t have time to breathe and everything just needs to STOP and go my fucking way for ONCE and

Only a few times since starting on my meds, but it still happens. Of more concern to me is the pretty much daily routine of my son dallying about (because he’s four) (sorry, four and a half: he’d be quick to correct me) and me losing my patience with him.

I kind of lost steam here. I thought I was going somewhere, but I guess I wasn’t. I still feel bad about things. The end.

Filed under grounded parents parenting anxiety

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queerfatfemme:

Yeah, this moment in Orange is the New Black, moved me, too. Some people require you to look a little deeper.

kerryblaze:

geejayeff:

aaajmachine:

I know you don’t like to talk, but you gotta do it for her.

Yadriel & Maria appreciation post ✿◕‿◕✿

HE SAID MORE THAN HE DID ALL SEASON. I THOUGHT HE DIDN’T CARE. I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST BEING NICE AND LETTING HIS BABY MAMA SEE THE BABY THAT HE PROBABLY DIDN’T REALLY WANT AND BARELY LOOKED AFTER BUT I WAS FUCKING WRONG. I WAS WRONG ABOUT HIM. HE’S JUST QUIET. THE DUDE IS STOIC AS FUCK AND HE FUCKING LOVES MARIA AND HE LOVES THAT BABY AND IT’S FUCKING BEAUTIFUL THE WAY HE GUSHES AND TALKS TO HER LIKE MARIA ASKED HIM TO DO BECAUSE HE WANTS HER TO GROW UP SMART AND LOVED.

But also look at how cute the baby is dressed in each visit. Who did that? Daddy did. But that’s exactly the kind of visual cue that gets lost when he’s getting judged for his bald head, tattoos and stoic (thuggish?) demeanor.

By far my favorite moment in the show, both seasons. And I don’t have a thing for babies. It’s just this show, showing beautiful moments in such original ways and showing minority characters with depth… I was so moved.

Oh god I forget how much this show tore at me.

(spoilers for S2 follow)

I didn’t necessarily read it that he cared all along. But she was being transferred far away and wouldn’t be able to see her daughter anymore, so she begged and pleaded him to talk to their daughter and be there for her and the next time you saw him he was and oh there I am tearing up again.

(Source: jamescookjr)

Filed under queerfatfemme orange is the new black oitnb

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If Facebook Was A Guy

ryannorth:

FACEBOOK: Hi, I’m Facebook.
ME: Nice to meet you, I’m Ryan.
FACEBOOK: What’s your last name? Where do you live? When were you born? What’s your phone number? Is that work or mobile? Can I have your work number too?
ME: Facebook, I just met you.
FACEBOOK: This is what friendship is to me.

ME: Hey, you know what’d be lots of fun? If we had a picnic!
FACEBOOK: Hey, you know what’d be lots of fun? If you told me the names of every single person you know!

FACEBOOK: Hey Ryan, do you know this person?
ME: That’s Sarah. I haven’t spoken to her for years.
FACEBOOK: Okay, here’s a shot of her bedroom and some pictures of her children as they sleep.

FACEBOOK: Hey Ryan, do you know this person?
ME: I… maybe? I may have seen him at a party.
FACEBOOK: He likes The Big Bang Theory. You wanna be friends, right?
ME: No.
FACEBOOK: I’ll ask you to be friends with him every time I see you again for the next six months.

FACEBOOK: Your friends went to the beach. Do you have any comments on these pictures of your friends at the beach?
ME: Huh?
FACEBOOK: I’m showing their swimsuit pictures to everyone. Do you like them? You can tell me if you like them. It’s fine if you like them.
ME: They’re… okay, I guess?
FACEBOOK: Okay, I just told them and everyone they know that you like their swimsuit pictures.

MY FRIEND STEVE: Hey, Facebook just said we’re not friends anymore? What the hell, Ryan?
ME: Huh?
FACEBOOK: Hah hah hah

NSA: Hey Facebook, what can you tell us about Ryan?
FACEBOOK: Age, interests, relationships, activities, where he was last night, what he looked like while he was there, the last five places he’s lived - what do you want?
NSA: That’ll be great, thanks. Do we need a warrant?
FACEBOOK: Nah, just make a fake account and friend someone who is friends with Ryan. That’s good enough for me!
NSA: Hah hah hah

FACEBOOK: Hey, did you know your aunt is racist?
ME: I… no?
FACEBOOK: Here’s something they wrote about “the foreigners”.
ME: Why would you think I’d want to see this?
FACEBOOK: Do you like what you see? You can tell me if you like it. It’s fine if you like it.

FACEBOOK: Hey, this corporation wants to engage with you.
ME: What? No.
FACEBOOK: They paid me money so you’re going to listen to them whether you want to or not.
CORPORATION: Hi, are you getting married? Do you want to buy diamonds? You mentioned diamonds earlier so you should buy our diamonds.
ME: I was talking about the James Bond movie, Diamonds Are Forever.
CORPORATION: We can sell you that too.
ME: Wait, how did you know I was talking about that in the first place?
FACEBOOK: Hah hah hah

ME: Facebook, I don’t want to be friends anymore. Forget everything I ever told you about myself.
FACEBOOK: Okay.
ME: Facebook, did you delete everything?
FACEBOOK: I did. Sorry to see you go.
ME: …
ME: …Facebook, if I said I wanted to be friends again, what would you say?
FACEBOOK: Here’s all your old shit again! I never deleted anything!
FACEBOOK: Hah hah hah

Filed under ryannorth facebook